INTRODUCTION
While some international faculty and scholars come to Rutgers after many years' experience with life in the
United States, many arrive in New Brunswick directly from overseas, having had little or no direct previous
experience in this country. This section is intended to guide those who are unfamiliar with American life and its
values system, and to address briefly the issue of "culture shock."
CULTURE SHOCK
"Culture shock" is the feeling of disorientation or confusion that occurs when a person leaves a familiar place and
moves to any unfamiliar one.
People experience culture shock in varying degrees. Those who are most affected by it tend to become nervous
and unusually tired. They want to sleep a lot and write many letters home. They may feel frustrated and hostile
toward their host country. They may get excessively angry about minor irritations. It is not unusual for them to
become very dependent on fellow nationals in the new country. All these feelings make it difficult to deal with the
residents of the host country and to use their language. Different people react differently to culture shock. Some
become depressed, while others are stimulated by the new experiences open to them.
CULTURAL CHARACTERISTICS OF AMERICANS
Like any other nationality group, Americans vary from individual to individual; it is possible, however, to mention
certain characteristics which, in general, describe attitudes and practices common among Americans. Keep in
mind that the following remarks are generalizations and that there are many groups in America whose values
differ radically.
Individualism
Americans generally believe that the ideal person is an autonomous, self-reliant individual. Most Americans see
themselves as separate individuals, not primarily as representatives of a family, community or other group. They
dislike being dependent on other people or having others dependent on them. Some people from other countries
view this attitude as selfishness; others view it as a healthy freedom from the constraints of ties to family, clan, or
social class.
Informality
Americans are taught that all people are created equal. Although they continually violate that idea in some
aspects of life, in others they adhere to it. They treat each other in very informal ways, for example, even in the
presence of great differences in age or social standing. From the point of view of some people from other cultures,
this kind of behavior reflects lack of respect. From the point of view of others, it reflects a happy lack of concern
for the social ritual. Americans, as a rule, usually think nothing about starting a casual conversation with a
complete stranger; this is usually meant as a sign of friendliness. Should strangers smile at you, it is a sign of
welcome and acknowledgement of your presence. It is not necessarily an invitation to speak, nor is it a sign of
insincerity when they do not acknowledge your presence. Americans also "talk" with their hands, often touching
another person to make a point, to express sympathy, or to be friendly, even in casual conversation with people
not well known to them.
Frankness
Americans are more concerned with honesty than with saving face. They often discuss topics which may be
embarrassing to people in many other cultures. Americans are taught from birth that "honesty is the best policy"
even if "the truth hurts." This sometimes requires straddling a very narrow path between openness, which is
considered a virtue, and tactlessness, which is not. In an effort to get directly to the point, Americans tend to take
verbal shortcuts and are perfectly comfortable dispensing with background details and polite social conversation.
Americans measure truth by the accuracy of facts rather than by the expression of a feeling or an impression.
Friendships
Friendships among Americans may be shorter and less intensive than those among people from many other
cultures. Because they are taught to be self-reliant and because they live in a mobile society, Americans tend to
compartmentalize their friendships, having their friends at work, friends from school, and so on. It has been said
that Americans are very friendly but have a great deal of difficulty forming deep interpersonal commitments.
Deep and lasting friendships do exist, but they take time to grow. These remarks are not intended to discourage
you from attempting to establish friendly relationships with Americans. In fact, the ease with which people move
between different social settings makes getting acquainted easy, and from these casual acquaintances lifetime
friendships can develop. It is important to note, however, that some Americans' ideas about friendship might be
different from yours, and you should not be discouraged by this difference. Your honesty about what you feel
about any one friend promotes an open communication and will lead to a better understanding of your respective
positions.
Time Consciousness
Americans place considerable value on punctuality. They tend to organize their activities by means of a schedule.
As a result, they may seem harried, always running from one thing to the next, unable to relax and enjoy
themselves. (This characteristic is most noticeable in the northeastern section of the U.S.) Since Americans are so
time conscious, the pace of life may at first seem very rushed. Being on time is regarded as very important by
people on a schedule, and in the United States most people make a great effort to arrive on time. It is often
considered impolite to arrive even a few minutes late. If you are unable to keep an appointment, you are expected
to call the person to advise him or her that you will be late or unable to arrive at all.
One should arrive at the exact time specified for meals or appointments with professors, doctors, and other
professionals. You can arrive any time between the hours specified for teas, receptions, and cocktail parties. Plan
to arrive a few minutes before the specified time for public meetings, plays, concerts, movies, sports events,
classes, church services, and weddings.
Asking Questions
To become more aware of Americans and their culture, do not hesitate to ask questions about customs, practices,
or values. Not only will questions help to reduce confusion or prevent misunderstandings, but they also help us to
learn from you about your culture. In the United States, people respect someone who expresses concern or
curiosity. Asking for assistance or an explanation is not considered to be a sign of weakness.
Invitations
"Drop in any time" and "come see me soon" are idioms often used in social settings but seldom meant to be
taken literally. It is wise to telephone ahead of time before visiting someone at home. If you receive a written
invitation to an event that says "RSVP," you should respond by writing a note or telephoning to let the person
who sent the invitation know whether or not you plan to attend.
Never accept an invitation unless you really plan to go. To refuse, it is enough to say, "Thank you for inviting me,
but I will not be able to come." If, after accepting, you are unable to attend, be sure to tell those expecting you as
far in advance as possible that you will not be there.
Although it is not necessarily expected that you give a gift to your host, it is considered polite to do so, especially
if you have been invited for a meal. Flowers, fruit, or a small gift from your country are all appropriate. A
thank-you note or telephone call after the visit is also considered polite, and is an appropriate means to express
your appreciation for the hospitality.
When you are invited to a meal and there are foods you cannot eat, explain this to your prospective host. Cultural
preferences and religious restrictions on diet are understood and respected. Your host will appreciate knowing in
advance what foods and beverages to prepare that everyone will enjoy.
Greetings
Men usually shake hands the first time they meet; women may or may not do so in a purely social setting though
they generally do in a business atmosphere. "How do you do" and "good morning/afternoon" are formal
greetings; "hello" or simply "hi" are more common. Many foreign visitors are at first put off by Americans'
tendency to say. "how are you?" or "how ya doin'?" without waiting for a response. This is a commonplace
greeting, not actually a question.
Titles and First Names
Americans frequently use first names, sometimes even in formal settings. People of the same age and status
always call each other by their first names or even "nicknames." An older person whom one does not know well is
addressed as Mr., Mrs., Miss, or Ms. until the individual invites the use of first names. These titles are used in
conjunction with the surname, never the first name. The title Ms. is displacing Mrs. and Miss and is a handy form
of address when the woman's marital status is unknown. "Dr." is used to address people holding medical degrees
and, in some settings, those holding PhDs.
What to Wear?
You will find that most people dress very casually on campus, and, particularly during warm weather, most people
dress for comfort rather than fashion. Since clothing is often considered an expression of one's personality,
however, there are no "rules" for what to wear on campus, and the individual is free to wear what he or she
prefers.
For more formal occasions, e.g., theater, dinner, a sportcoat or sweater and tie are more appropriate for a man,
and a dress or skirt and blouse for a woman. If you are invited out and are unsure of what to wear, it is perfectly
appropriate and acceptable to ask.
Tipping
Rarely are service charges included in a bill. Waiters, waitresses, and taxicab drivers should be tipped
approximately 15 to 20 percent of the total bill or fare. Porters and bellboys should be given one to two dollars for
carrying luggage, but desk clerks are not tipped. Barbers, hairdressers, delivery persons (but not U.S. postal
workers), and parking lot attendants are tipped one to two dollars. No tips are given to theater ushers, gas station
attendants, airline employees, bus drivers, receptionists, or store clerks. Never attempt to tip customs officials,
policemen, or other government employees.
LANGUAGE
Americans are taught to speak and write clearly and simply, but they do not always practice what they preach. On
college campuses, where experts spend a great deal of time talking to other experts, technical words, or jargon,
slip into their vocabulary. With a little practice, you will be able to detect "academese" when you hear it. Like
other people in the world, Americans have developed certain peculiarities in their everyday language. You are
sure to encounter certain colloquialisms and "slang" terms which could not have been predicted by an English
language textbook or teacher. Such words are often unique to a certain group of people and are forever changing.
You will hear slang in virtually every conversation you have while in the United States and will occasionally find
that the same word has different meanings in different contexts. For this reason you should never hesitate to ask
for clarification of expressions with which you are unfamiliar. Americans enjoy helping nonnative speakers
become familiar with the oddities of the language, and many friendships have begun with a shared good-natured
laugh over a misused or misunderstood slang idiom.
The Unspoken Language
Verbal messages are only a small part of communication. Were this not the case, silent films with such stars as
Charlie Chaplin could never have achieved the success and popularity that they did.
Misunderstandings between persons of different cultures is often a result of lack of comprehension of nonverbal
signs and symbols, such as facial expressions, gestures, postures, and intonations that accompany most verbal
interactions. These are so automatic that we forget how they might mean different things in different cultures.
It would never occur to an American, for instance, that handing someone something with the right hand may be
more acceptable than with the left, yet in some societies it is offensive to hand someone something with the left
hand. Nor would it occur to the American woman that looking directly at a man could be interpreted as bold,
flirtatious, or disrespectful. To her it signals directness and honesty. The actual distance maintained between
people while they talk varies from culture to culture (about 21 inches for North Americans), but it is not
consciously thought about. In the American culture when a person arrives late for class, for example, it is
expected that the student will come in quietly, take a seat, and join in at whatever point the discussion has evolved
to. In many other cultures, it is necessary to obtain permission from the instructor to enter and be part of the
class, and the instructor might begin the lecture all over again.
To avoid misunderstandings, keep in mind the possibility that the unspoken language which you exchange with
people from other cultures may not say what it says in your culture. If the words and gestures of the Americans
with whom you are conversing seem to disagree, you might minimize your confusion by listening only to the words,
or by telling the individual you are getting a mixed message.
SPECIAL ADJUSTMENT DIFFICULTIES FOR SPOUSES
Many international faculty and visitors come to Rutgers with their spouses with good intentions of "keeping the
family together." This is, of course, a desirable situation. Experience has shown, however, that spouses often
suffer unique adjustment problems. They are not only in a foreign culture, but are also out of the mainstream of
campus and community life. Separated from friends, family, native language and, often, jobs back home, spouses
can easily become isolated and depressed while their husbands or wives are busy working all day at the
university.
The Center for International Faculty and Student Services recognizes the reality of these problems, and offers
several programs for wives of visitors; while no programs currently exist specifically for husbands, they will be
arranged if enough interest is expressed.
See "Activities for Spouses" in the "Day to Day Living" section of this guidebook and "Rutgers International
Women's Group" in the guidebook's first section. Please ask at the center for a copy of the International
Women's Group's Guidebook for International Families, written especially with the spouses of international
faculty, scholars and students in mind.
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last updated August 19, 1997