Don't repeat the mistake on page 847 of The Prayer Book .  Here is what God really requires from the chosen people:

Do justice

A series of essays towards General Convention in 2003


The Revisionists Who Scare Me

The Revisionists Who Scare Me


by Louie Crew lcrew@andromeda.rutgers.edu

"You in my father's kingdom?! Do you believe in some kind of cheap grace? Get real. Now repeat after me, very slowly and clearly, 'I believe in God, the Father Almighty, maker of Heaven and .....'"

         -- Jesus speaking from the cross

"Now if you want any help from me, you've got to take responsibility. You got yourself into this mess, and you need to confess that very loudly and clearly so that no Gospel writer will forget to underscore it. These men have a perfect right to stone you, but if you will make a loud enough confession, I'll see what I can do to help you. But don't you ever, ever commit adultery again! Do you hear me!?

         -- Jesus in the public square

I really should not be out here talking to you. You understand that, I hope. And don't be telling anyone else about this conversation lest somebody misunderstand my compassion. Before you can drink any of my living water, you have got to leave your current lover and go back to your very first husband. And I expect you to tell everyone how bad you have been. Then I'll see what I can do for you.

         -- Jesus at Jacob's Well

Mother! Here you go messing in my business again. They don't need any more wine. After all, they have been drinking over a week. This is precisely the kind of occasion for which God made Welch's grape juice. After all, this scene must look very proper, because the Polaroids will be here to preserve it as an icon for Christian marriage. Now smile. Just say 'Cheesus.'

         -- Jesus at Cana

Such blasphemies are endless.

Joy anyway! --Lutibelle/Louie


You are welcome to submit your essays for consideration for this series. Send them to lcrew@newark.rutgers.edu Identify yourself by name, snail address, parish, and other connections to the Episcopal Church. Please encourage others to do the same.

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