Dear Louie....I am attaching below as pasted copy two articles by Michael
E. Meyer. firstname.lastname@example.org
He tells me as well that should
anyone out there wish to re-print the pieces, he would be pleased to have
them used in any way. (As a courtesy to him, I would be pleased if
anyone re-printing one or both of the pieces would be good enough to
e-mail him or me back with where and when just so Mike will know where and how
much his words have meant.)
Thanks, Louie, as always, and all blessings....p
How can anyone reject a child? A child is to be taught, trained and loved. And that child will return that love in the way they interact with others. Do they show respect for their elders? Are they patient with the very young and the very old? Do they show self respect? Are they compassionate with their peers? Are they loyal to their family and friends? Will they stand up for what they feel is right? Do they handle their personal responsibilities in a moral and timely manner? Have they succeeded in their efforts towards an education and career?
If the answers to these questions are yes( or a majority of yes), then you have succeeded as a parent.
And now that child has come to you with a very heavy burden. That child is revealing to you that they are homosexual.
All our lives we have been taught that being gay was weird, ugly and worthy only of ridicule and shame. But now it has come into our home.
The first concern is usually how the rest of the family, the neighbors, and others close to us will react. Should we keep it under the rug like our "funny uncle" or should we go forward?
We opted to go forward.
Our son is a source of immense pride to us. He is the person we described in the first paragraph. And we have found that his friends that we have come to know and love have the same traits.
How can anyone reject their child? The idea is inconceivable to us. We would like a rational answer to that question. To date we haven't heard one good reason for rejecting a child when they show admirable traits then are revealed to be homosexual.
A child is to be loved unconditionally, especially when you discover that they are carrying a burden that "mainstream" society loads on them.
Telling them that they are wrong and cannot be a full fledged citizen, with a full plate of rights and liberties.
So, somebody please, tell me how you reject your child and live life without regretting that you have? I'm trying very hard to understand that when I see your child in such emotional pain. How do you do it and why?
Micheal E. Meyer. © 2001
My wife suspects she is pregnant again. Our second child. One month later we're sure. At this point in our life we really can't afford to have another child. But we'll make do somehow.
This pregnancy is totally different from my wife's first. She's having a much easier time of it. Maybe it's experience, maybe it's just easier.
In late October, our son is born. Great Day! A son! Someone to bear the family name into the future.
As he grows and discovers more about his world, I am rapt in amazement.
This is my Son! A companion to discover new horizons with. Someone to do "Guy Stuff" with. Somebody to teach our family history and values to.
He matures into a fine adolescent: compassionate with his peers, respectful of his elders and patient with those younger. He is interested in things appropriate to his age. He enjoys camping, scouting, Little League (actually, baseball in general). He loves visiting aboard ship when we're in home port.
But as a teen, things change. Something's amiss and we can't quite get a grip on what's going on. He's become a very private person, almost to the point of obsessive secrecy. Angst? We don't know. But we respect his privacy. And we support him in any way we can. Want to talk to Mom or Dad? OK. Want to see a counselor? That's ok, too. Just become our son again.
We began to suspect a few things but never had solid evidence. One big thing was his lack of dating or evidence of interest in girls.
Finally it came time for him to make a major decision. He had to reveal to us that he was gay. I don't know why it took him so long. I guess it was a case of "All things in their own time"
Now our suspicions were fact.
What do we do now? All my life I was taught that homosexuality was something taboo. Something to shun, deride, condemn and ridicule. But now it was time to lay everything I had been taught aside and depend on what I had learned about the person. He was still the young man we had raised. He still had a solid set of core values. And I loved him dearly. The decision was a no brainer. I learn better through observation, and the young man I observed was worthy of my love, support and respect. Sure, I thought about how this would be received by the rest of the family and those close to us. But the decision was still up to us. The only people that had to be content with our decision were us. His friends are welcome in our home, any time. But most of all we are concerned about his emotional well being and safety. Just like any parent of a "normal" child. Thank God I have such a loving and caring son and friend.
Although I speak only from my own experience, through my son and his friends that we have met, I find it very hard to understand how a parent could reject their child.
Reject my son because he is gay? I find that thought unconscionable.
Michael E. Meyer © 2001
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