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Re: The Issue of Choice
> In a private conversation once I put the question to some fellow delegates
> to diocesan convention. They claimed that it would influence
> impressionable children if gay priests were allowed. So I asked, "Would it
> have changed you?" Of course the answer was a resounding no. I replied
> that it would not have changed me, either. So why do we think it might
> change our children. They had no reply.
No reply that they dared share, sugar. That's why you might not have
converted them even though you reduced them to silence.
Their silence seems delicious, but only momentarily. I believe their
silence is eery and dangerous, an obstacle to their personal wholeness and
an obstacle to the integrity of the Church's discourse about sexual
Kinsey documented in 1948 [!] that one-third of all males had experienced
same-sex orgasm. Only 10 percent of us grow up to be predominately gay.
The other 23 percent are the ones not talking candidly about their
experiences, yet very likely their same-sex experiences are crucial
influences on their contribution to every council that considers sexual
issues. (See my artcle on the 23 percent in the upcoming issue of THE
Some of the 23 percent discover that more of their pistons work
heterosexually. Others of the 23 percent make a heterosexual adaptation
and learn to run on one or two pistons rather than the other four or six.
Since one of the major reasons for doing so is to preserve
hetero-privilege, many, if they talk at all, feel compelled to stand up
against lesbigays who refuse to adapt heterosexually.
I wish we lesbigays would stop denying that heterosexual adaptations can
and do work for some people, and I wish those who experience them would be
candid about them, first with their partners, then with any councils which
they expect to influence. Those who make heterosexual adaptations must
stop being idolatrous about them; they must stop demanding in their heart
of hearts that the rest of us make the same adaptation.
When God made all those marvelous fountains and oozing, gushy places,
surely She did not intend for us to use them as means to divide and
treat one another with scorn. The plumbing is integral but not
definitive. We must get on with our lives even while we wait out the long
passing of fear and ignorance.