DOs:
- Speak to the person privately and allow time to talk.
- Tell the person you are very concerned about him or her. Do
not be confrontational.
- Calmly tell the person all the specific observations that
have aroused your concern, for
example: "I have noticed that you have been leaving the table
abruptly after every meal."
- Allow the person time to respond. Listen carefully and
nonjudgmentally.
- Keep the focus on problems (for example, withdrawing from
others).
- If the information you receive suggests an eating disorder,
share with the person that:
- you think the person has a problem with eating (or body
image or weight management).
- you are concerned about his or her health and
well-being.
- you are concerned that the matter needs to be evaluated by
somebody who understands eating
disorders.
- Know about some of the resources in your school and your
community (see Eating Problems)
to which students can be referred .
- Tell a nurse, counselor, teacher or coach immediately if the
person has problems that scare you - for example, if the person
is:
- binging and throwing up several times per day.
- passing out or complaining of chest pains.
- complaining of severe stomach ache and/or vomiting
blood.
- suicidal.
DON'Ts:
- Don't speak to an authority without first speaking
privately to the person whom you suspect of
having an eating disorder (unless the situation is an
emergency).
- Don't confront the person as a group if more than one person is concerned.
- Don't threaten or challenge the person.
- Don't be judgmental: don't tell the person that what
they are doing is "sick" or "crazy" or
"stupid".
- Don't give advice about weight loss or exercising or
appearance.
- Don't diagnose.
- Don't get into an argument or battle of wills. Calmly
repeat your evidence, your concern,
and your strong belief that the person needs to have the problem
evaluated. End the
conversation if it is going nowhere or if either of you becomes too
upset.
- Don't promise to keep what you have observed a
secret.
- Don't try to keep track of what the person is eating
or try to force the person to eat or not eat.
- Don't let the person monopolize your time and
energy.
Source: The Renfrew Center
For comments on this web-site, contact Mark J. Forest, Ph.D.
or call 732-932-3966.
This page last updated: June 27, 2007
Rutgers, the State University is an equal opportunity affirmative action institution.
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